Effecting The (M)Ass (Part 2)

"Butt of course you are a valuable asset to our team"

Said Shepard to Miranda.

Hello, Earthlings, and welcome to another episode of: Maya trying to be funny, but failing miserably. Anyways, I planned to throw in a few more words about this franchise before I leave the gaming part aside for a while. To be frank, I actually planned on going through another playthrough of the trilogy before writing this last post (so my memory would be fresh), but I kind of lost track of what I wanted to write about. So in exchange for that I'm just gonna add a few more interesting things for you to think about or discuss with me and/or anyone else. And to make you laugh. 

So, in my first post, I described the first Mass Effect game and gave an honest opinion on some of its parts, like graphics, soundtrack and story-line. But I find it quite useless to do it again on the next part because, honestly, I would hand out a lot of medals. 

Mass Effect 2 and 3 on the other hand, have a lot more characters, missions and events, which makes the review almost impossible to make, with my lack of experience in writing them. But I am going to give you some of my thoughts, mainly about the characters and their actions, and some regarding the gameplay. 

So first thing I realized while playing the second part is that ME will always, and I mean it, have a bug. No matter how many times you play it, you will have to encounter some kind of bug and although some of them can be annoying, in my case, many of them were hilarious as hell (like in the video above). Some of the most common bugs are listed here, but I'll try to tell you about some that aren't listed that I've came across. To elaborate the video, I was on the Freedom's Progress mission at the beginning of the game, when between two of those containers/warehouses/smh came out a FENRIS mech and got stuck in the stairs. I killed it, but Jacob was not that convinced. For my non-native speakers, I said: "Jacob? Pošandr'co.", which roughly in Serbian means: "Jacob? He lost it.". I had to load the game again, firstly I got scared I might have to play from the beginning, but, fortunately, I had an autosave. 

Next bug I found was pretty much useful, although I'm not sure if it was a bug or if it was meant to happen when you do it. Tell me if I'm wrong. Since I'm a lousy shooter, I almost always use up all my good ammo (usually sniper rifle, pistol and heavy ammo). So whenever I came across a weapon locker, I could recharge by switching the weapons, getting out of the interface, and then switching back to the old one, and voila! It's recharged! 

Besides... You know something's about to get down if you have a weapon's locker before a room, and it's not the beginning of a mission.

ROW ROW ROW YOUR MAKO GENTLY UP THE HILL

Next, I have to pay a tribute to our beautiful MAKO (as I didn't mention it in the pervious post, shame on me) that has made the game more entertaining than ever. I have done stunts with it more times than I can count and I don't regret dying every time! Controls are so sensitive, and driving it looks silly as hell, I literally had panic attacks and screamed every time it was time to drive. It was hilarious to say the least, I swear if someone took footage of me while playing it would be a viral video on youtube.

 

Following this, I'm gonna leave a few comments regarding the Mass Effect 2 characters and their loyalty missions:

1. Ashley/Kaidan

Basically, in the second part, regardless of which character you save, the same fucking thing happens. 

On my first ME2 playthrough:

Me: Oh, my God, there's Kaidan! Kaidan, my beautiful, annoying, boring boyfriend that I got attached to without any particular reason! I've been looking everywhere for you, I love you! 

Kaidan: Piss off you Cerberus bitch, I ain't doin' shit with ya. 

Me: What?! Listen you whining asshole, I didn't come all the way here to get rejected by that cute little face of yours, now come with me!

Kaidan: Lol nope. 

Me: Oh, that's how? Fine, see ya in Mass Effect 3, you'll come crying. 

A few hundred hours of game time later...

Mass Effect 3: 

Kaidan: Please take me back!

Me: Lol nope. *continues to make out with Garrus*

Things change, however, if you play with male Shepard: 

So, putting that aside, basically, shit stays the same with him. Except, in my experience, Kaidan makes a great squad mate during missions, and I can't deny it. Ever. Always worked for me. Ashley on the other hand, I'm not sure of. She never gets to live, and I never regret it. I think I explained earlier why. 

2. Liara T'soni

(romanced on the second playthrough)

So, one of my favorite characters reappeared in the sequel. 

She dissed me... And I got heartbroken again... 

Except, unlike Kaidan, I gladly took her back in the 3rd part. Lesbians forever. On the other hand, unlike others, she tends to evolve through parts very quickly and majestically, and that's why I love her so much.

3. Jacob Taylor

When I first saw this dude, I thought: "Damn, hot!", but after some time passed, I realized: "Oh, shit another Kaidan, just black!". Tried to romance him at some point, was torn between him and Thane. God, that shameless flirting, I felt like I was forcing myself on him, 'cause he looks and acts way younger than Shepard. So I gave up in the end. His loyalty mission is one of the most boring missions ever. A totally cliche story and totally cliche character traits. But... He's hot. At least hotter than Kaidan.

4. Miranda Lawson

Oh boy have I got a lot to say about her. Just when I thought there isn't a character that I could hate more than Ashley, bam! Miranda. Her tits are saggy, her voice is annoying, and there isn't a moment I wouldn't punch her in the face if I was given the opportunity. And I can't help but notice the amount of sexism put into this character. She is supposed to be the perfect female? Firstly, why does she look like a hooker? Secondly, is that what men look in a woman? A self-centered, sexy, ultra-intelligent douchebag? 

Nice, you got the guys satisfied. But what about originality? 

Her loyalty mission is the second most boring, right after Jacob's. 

I only got her to make up with Jack once, and never again, I have no idea why. That's why I flipped her off every next time they would fight. 

The thing is, Miranda can be pretty cool at some point but she lacks more diversity. It's frustrating to have conversations with her because she would always try and beat you in a verbal match. Her obsession with her father makes it worse. She always talks about him and her younger sister. Well girl, if you were as smart as you were bragging you were, that shit wouldn't happen. Also, daddy issues?

5. Jack

Jack, oh Jack. I never thought I would make a male Shepard just to have you on my... Sack?

First time I saw her I totally thought she was a lesbian or bisexual. Tried romancing her but things didn't turn out as I expected. So I searched online and found out she was actually straight. Which was the biggest surprise for me since Nihilus got killed (By the way, Nihilus? Pretty cool name for a character that dies in the first 15 minutes of the game... Really? And I liked him too, you assholes).Regardless of that, I mean, how can you look like that and not swing the other way (and I don't mean this in an offensive manner, PLZ)? Just... damn. Anyway, after I got the deal, I immediately created a male character and went berserk on her. But she's a tricky one. First I thought I could get her laid by giving renegade answers since I realized she acts positively on them and negatively on paragon ones, but that just got me into one night stand and no relationship. I was damn frustrated, I just wanted that bitch mine. So, I tried again and that time I realized that although she reacted the way she did on paragon suggestions, she slowly let her guard down and let you into her life. That's how it works. That's how an emotionally scarred person acts in front of people who try to get near. And that's why I think she's the most original of all characters. 

She has a bad side too, though. She's acting like an emo brat on some occasions, talking about the shit she went through like she's the only one who's got it tough. Her lines during combat missions are pretty cool, my favourite one is: "Shepard, if I die, I'm haunting you!". For some reason whenever I played with her she would say that WHILE dying. She died on me too many times, for fuck sake, Jack, you can't just walk into a bunch of Collectors and expect me to evaporate them in an instant! But I always took her with me because of one thing: Shockwave. Do you have problems with a lot of Husks? Shockwave. Bam. No more husks. Love that skill of hers. 

Her loyalty mission is kind of fun, except for the part when she sulks and brags and reminisces and oh my God, shut up, did you want to blow the place up or not? Make up your mind. Damn woman. Still love her though. I even decided to do a cosplay of her some day in the future, when I grow my hair long enough like she did in part 3. 

That's it for now. I'll save a few more characters for some other time, since this post has been collecting dust for months now... Sorry guys, I'm having a hard time with blogging lately.

Effecting the Mass (part 1)

Well, as I promised earlier, I'm going to try and write something that's review-ish because why the fuck not. Won't be able to talk about all the games at once, because then this would be a looong post and I'd have a looong and boring rant. I'll feed you with this, little by little, just like a mother feeds her baby on spoon. I have some spare time on my hands, and you're probably not really interested in how I got it, so let's begin.

BEFORE YOU CONTINUE READING HAVE IN MIND THAT THIS POST MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS ABOUT THE GAME SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 

So, where to start? Well, firstly, as much as I hate to admit it, but this is the first game franchise that got me up in a bunch so much that I can't even begin to describe it. I mean, I literally spent hundreds of hours ingame... At first, I hated it, for no good reason (I guess I hated almost everything that my ex was playing), and then when I got involved again, I heard my current boyfriend talking about it day and night. I would just roll my eyes and continue to ignore the oh so awesome stories of Commander Shepard. I didn't. Fucking. Care. You couldn't make me play it. Nu-uh. No way. 

And then my boyfriend bought me a new laptop. That I could play games on. And he installed Mass Effect... And that was the end of my hate-fest. 

So, what happens next? I start playing it. Well, now that I'm here with a hella lot experience in the game, I can surely say that you just can't get to know the game and the full story and everything in just one playtrough. But, on my first try, I didn't actually realize that choices in the game were that - crucial... So I randomized the answers and got a complete mess out of the ending. I was damn confused. 

So, my boyfriend explains to me the paragon/renegade system et cetera, and then, on my second playthrough I got everything as I planned. Another thing I should mention is that I got the ending of the trilogy spoiled even when my ex boyfriend was playing it. That's why I wasn't even that excited on my first playthrough. But, on the second try, I realized something: I missed a few things, a few conversations, a few missions, a few planets, a few somethings... You always have that one thing... It's just so amazing. 

At the beginning, it took me a lot to adjust to the game. You know, full FPS hand - finger position on the freakin' keyboard (I'm sorry, I'm poor and don't have an x box), and just to spice things up, I chose the infiltrator class, because, well, they're awesome! FYI, up until now I played all of the games at least twice (Mass Effect & Mass Effect 2 - 3 times, and ME3 twice) and never have I changed the class. Infiltrator all the way. It was chosen by accident, but I fell in love with it nonetheless. It was damn hard to get used to the recoil and that shaky thing at the beginning when you zoom in, but I got the hang of it, as everything else in the game. 

Well, about technicalities, I have nothing big to talk about. Actually, there is one thing, yeah it has bugs, especially if you play it on a computer with a win7 os, but I got over it and managed to finish it. So, I just got used to my character and teammates just randomly disappearing in missions, or getting pixelized or whatever not. It was hilarious, for what it's worth. I had one mission, on Noveria I think, where I would drive the Mako, the most awesome thing ever, and the whole landscape was just black pixels! So I could't fucking see where I was going, and to make things worse, you could die if you fell in... Something, I don't know what, it was all just black! So I had to memorize the whole route like I was blind in an trial - error mission! Hilarious when you talk about it, REALLY annoying when you play it. 

So now, I want to talk about characters. Firstly, Commander Shepard, of course. I played with both male and female Shepards, but of course, I'm a lot more fond of the femShep, which is reasonable, since I'm a girly girl. (this was the part where I made a pause in writing to watch some videos of cute dogs and cats, I swear)

Depending on the background story and all your choices, you get kind of different Shepards, but they are actually not that much different. Because if you had randomized answers like I did at the beginning, and they would go from one extreme to another, you would have a hero with a tough case of bipolar disease. But it's not the case, actually, all of the answers are pretty well balanced, and even if it seems cruel to choose a renegade answer, you pretty much realize, that deep down in yourself you wanted it to be even more extreme (if you came to a conclusion that you want some motherfucker suffering, which you certainly will after some time of playing the game). 

So, he, or she is very much like an empty shell waiting for you to fill it up with some attitude.

Which is cool. Not a lot of games leave you the choice of having a totally unique character.

Now considering I'm a Sims freak, I absolutely hate the appearance settings. There isn't much there to edit. Even the facial reconstruction bars don't do much actually. When I played with male Shepard, I left the default look because I don't know what the hell am I going to do with the settings, and with the female Shepard, I was just ... Frustrated. I wanted to make a space diva, but yeah, I was being too optimistic. So I made the sexy redhead from the covers. Good enough. I realized, yes, she is a middle aged woman in the military, you can't have a fucking prom dress and Beyonce's hair, and I came to peace with that... But, black lipstick and strong blush is available?! Who in the hell would wear that in the military? I really don't know what the designers were thinking. You don't know shit about girls, that's what.

Now, to prevent myself from going way too far into detail, I'll continue to leave a few short comments on the rest of the main characters before I make a final statement... Wow I feel so pro. 

So, first things first, Kaidan. Kaidan Alenko is the biggest wuss in the galaxy (wow, what a start). I romanced him on the first try, it was romantic and so on, but he is one of the most pathetic characters I've ever encountered. His sad puppy eyes and the way he talks, it's so annoying from time to time, I wish there is an option to punch him in the face. He's nice, supportive, and pretty much the one boring boyfriend. Only thing good is that he makes an awesome squad mate. But no matter what happens, I always save him on the last misison. Why? Because the one character I hate more than Kaidan is fucking Ashley Williams. Why? What I hate more that patheticism is racism. End of story. Kaidan is pathetic. Ashley is just plain annoying. She's this military asshole who thinks humans are above everyone. Well, sorry sweetheart, but then what the fuck are you doing on the Normandy with a bunch of aliens on board? Scoot along and join UNICEF or something. 

The first character that came to my liking and that I enjoyed romancing is Liara T'soni. And I went full lesbian on her. Her cool and calm personality is just a herb to all your wounds. And you can go lesbian on her. Did I mention you can romance her with a female? Yeah, ok, I'll stop. She's like a kitten that you just want to stay in and cuddle with all day long. And her freckles... That's one detail that makes her so adorable. If she was human I imagined her like some cute ginger nerd. Would still bang. (Also, did you notice that she's one of the rare Asari that have eyebrows? Intriguing.)

The rest of the crew had little to none effect on me (no pun intended), except Wrex, Garrus, Tali and Joker. They all seemed cool to me and I really liked them. Wrex and Garrus were like my homies, if they were human I would fist bump and then butt bump them to say hello or something, and Tali was like a little sister, I could totally imagine them sitting and gossiping at a slumber party. And Joker is just badass with a slight case of a hero complex, but we all love him. Yeah, that kind of sums up my vision of the crew.

There were no major character developments, nor anything in particular that field, but that's hardly noticeable considering that the game has so much more to offer.

Okay, so, what do reviewers actually do now? Rate from 1 to 10 or something? 

Not in my book. I'm gonna hand out medals. 

So, graphics are usually first. I'll leave the best for last. Let's just say I can't be the optimal measurement of the graphics review because I didn't play it in optimal circumstances. But, I simply adore the character design, the aliens are so much diverse and they're something you've never seen in earlier space stories or whatever. Maybe the Star Wars freaks have something to say about that but I don't really care, I think the designs are pretty genuine and unique. The game though lacks more human faces. Aliens, we can endure, just change the colour of their uniform (if they wear any) and minor adjustments will make it unique, but side character humans are made from the same templates, and you can notice that. In one mission you see a girl with short brown hair, in the next that same girl with the same hair, just.. Black. The game lacks diversity in side characters. But, on the other hand, they are just side characters, irrelevant to the story, so I see the explanation in not putting the spotlight on their appearance. 

Cut scenes show that much more effort was put into them, especially the ones where they introduce you to a new planet or space station, Citadel, or galaxy in general, which is awesome, and soothing to the eye. Being able to represent that abyss in all it's beauty is almost impossible, and Bioware, you've outdone yourself there.

There are a lot of scenes where the characters get cross eyed or squint eyed. It's very funny when you look at it, especially when there's some serious shit going on. Here they are talking about geth and all of a sudden Shepard gets cross eyed and says: "We needz to save teh galaxy!" Derp.

Something else I've noticed, and that bothers me though, is the way that characters talk. Humans seem like they always have cramps in their cheeks, always talking in a half smile and sometimes the syllables just don't add up to the way their mouth moves. Krogan and Turians, Jesus Christ I have no idea how they talk. It's like we have a talking frog with teeth here, not sure how they imagined that. Turians on the other hand make the least sense to me because of the freaking hole in their head they have, they don't have cheeks, for fuck sake, how can they make the same sounds as human? Woah, went a little overboard there. Sorry.

So, without further a due, here's the rating:

  

Three medals for graphics/character design.

(Gosh I feel so proud of myself)

Derp. So Shepard. Many geth. Wow.

Next, we have music. The soundtrack from the first game has fucking thirty fucking seven EPIC tracks that were all composed by Richard Jacques, Jack Wall & Sam Hulick. Guys, I leave my everything to you. You can have my heart and soul and everything for creating such an amazing sountrack. It invokes feeling such as melancholy and just makes you think about the void of space, the emptiness, and the possibilities. On the other hand other tracks make you sit at the edge of your seat while playing a tough mission or watching a tense scene. Or, even make you cry at an emotional scene. You didn't cry? Bull crap.

I'm not gonna be really objective here, but fuck you , this is my blog I can do whatever I want. 

Four medals for soundtrack because it simply kicks ass.

And last, but not least, the rating on the story. Mass Effect trilogy isn't just something you play, finish and then forget about. It really impacts you in a way I cannot describe it. The story is just consuming, it pulls you in deeper and deeper that you just become a part of it. That's what a grat game does, it makes you feel like you're part of it, not just a person looking at what's happening from the side, and that's what makes this game really unique. When I played Tomb Raider for instance, I merely felt like the person who was looking for a way to help Lara Croft out to solve the mysteries, of, I don't know, some ancient relic, or how did her mother die or something. You see some flashbacks, and you think: "Poor Lara, going through all that at a young age like that.", for instance. But in this game, you experience everything on a very personal level. If someone offends Shepard, you feel offended, if someone hurts a Shepards friend, you feel the need to revenge that friend, et cetera. 

Story development is really amazing. It has a few twists and turns just to keep you on the edge, enough action, and, even besides all that, you have a few minutes to be - well, human for a while, and indulge in some... Stuff. 

So, without hesitation:

Five fucking stars for the story.

Because lesbians. 

Well, I hope you enjoyed reading, and I might come back very soon to bring you part 2. 

I SHOULD GO.

News, facts, updates...

Well, here we are...

With my previous year being as complicated as it was, I didn't find the time, or the patience to dedicate myself to writing, unlike the year before. On the other hand, I understood that my audience isn't really big (if there ever was any), seeing that I don't get any feedback at all for my suggestions or questions. But, I don't torture myself about it, because the sole purpose of my writing isn't having as many readers as possible, but dedicated readers who can agree and/or sympathize with me. 

Anyway, year 2013. was harsh, and most of my negative emotions were expressed through this post, where I shared my experience in trying to find a job and my general opinion on jobs for young people. The problem is basically worldwide, and it pains me to see young and prosperous people be shoved away by the selfish society with some irrational justification. In the end I managed to find some part time jobs as a movie extra, and a model, or so call it academy figure, in a private atelier, and on the academy. These jobs couldn't take away much of my time, so I was able to focus on studying and getting good grades.

On the other hand, it's not like I haven't thought about writing new stuff and sharing it with you, it's just that I have a minor blockade in my mind that says: "That's not good enough", or "That's not entertaining", et cetera. So I kept it inside me so I can make at least one quality post, even if it meant doing it once a year. So, let's begin.

What's new:

1. I have decided to approach casually to writing and not stress out about the subjects. Hopefully, that will bring me more results, and keep you occupied for a short time at least.

2. I have also decided that I will never stop bitching about gamer guys because I know there still are poor girls around the world being neglected in their relationships.

3. Third decision, and the most important one is that, no matter how I'm occupied with my own crap, I will find a subject, with or without someone's help. And sometimes it won't be games. Because life doesn't evolve around it.

4. I've noticed that I matured for a short period of time a lot. Being under constant pressure, people tend to evolve, so I kind of see it that way. With this, I will bring you more serious topics. But don't worry, there's always time to stop and have a laugh.

Updates:

- A good friend of mine suggested to make improvements on my blog and offered help around it. I can assure you it will be most interesting if we manage to make that idea real. For now I won't reveal any more details, so you'll have to be patient. :)

- I intend to open a Facebook fan page, but that will wait until the improvements are made. Only thing I can say is that it will serve as a news/update platform, so I don't have to have this mess around my blog.

- Third and final is another suggestion I got from an acquaintance, and it was that I should start vlogging. Now that would require a lot more effort, but it's manageable. So, we'll see. It's status quo for now.

It's almost time for my Summer vacation so as soon as I get rid of a few exams that I have lest, I'll  have all the time in the world to stop and bitch.

In other news, I might start writing about games. Not some serious reviews, but just share a few thoughts and impressions I got from playing them. About six months ago, my boyfriend got me a new computer that allowed me to play something more than Minesweeper. So... It's his fault! Blame it on him if I become a famous reviewer or beta tester.

I'll give you a hint about the first thing I'm about to write:

Stay tuned. 

The child hidden inside.

Hello!

I was just passing by...

Nah, kidding.
I'm here to share something very special with you today. <3

Now I know I made myself very clear about my opinions on games, gamers and similar, and I underlined my rejection of the title 'gamer' as something to be proud of. I also tried to be as more objective as possible in situations where human relationships are involved and at stake, so taking sides was inevitable, although I must admit that in my opinion I was fair, not giving a break to any side of the storytellers, and criticizing not only the gamer population, but also the girly part. You may hate me for it, but hell, I ain't your mom to criticize you for your messy room, hair or bad grades, I'm just a young woman sharing her opinion about a lot of things, including games and relationships, to the society. You don't like it? Cry me a river. 

Of course, I have to mention the detail that I have told a long time ago in my first post ever: I'm writing about girls who aren't gamers, and gamers who aren't girls. It's just one of my basic experiences I could share and give advice on. And maybe, just maybe, put a smile here and there on someone's face. That makes me feel good. :)

Anyways, I planned this looong post for quite some time. After all the bitching and complaining about games and scumbag boyfriends, I took some time and thought about games thoroughly. I asked myself: How many games were starring in my life? Was I ever acting like the persons I obviously dislike so much at the moment? Could I really call myself a 'gamer' for a certain period of time in my life spent on games? How many games have I played in my life and what impression and influence have they left on me? So I'll present to you a special time machine, so we could go back waaay long time ago and see what can we find, starting from my childhood, up until now. 

1999. 

So, here I was, six years old, pulling buggers out of my nose, digging for worms in the backyard, playing with the kids from the hood all day long... A peaceful, joyful life. Childhood. The sun is setting and all of the kids run home for supper. I pick my dolls and barbies up, and run along up to the loft I used to live in once, and in which I had a... Sega Mega Drive... And not only that, I also had a Super Nintendo. 

Two. Friggin. Consoles. For games. When I was. Fucking. Six. 

Exactly how I remember them. Jesus, I can even smell the plastic right now. /nostalgic

Well, I can't say I remember all of it, but I can clearly and without a doubt say that these two consoles were my dad's and mine favourite toys, ever! We played Mario, Donkey Kong, Sonic and Megaman, and a lot more games, but I just can't remember them all. Actually, a big part in my love for games, played my dad (no pun intended!). We would stay up late, play, laugh quietly so we don't wake up mum and just enjoy! 

Anyways, considering the fact that those consoles were out for sale 4 years before I was born, or better yet, 10 years before I got to use them, that's pretty much lame, right? I mean, the cool kids would've had a Play Station, and they would've gotten already bored by it. And that's - my dear readers - where the gap began! Ever since I was born, I have been technologically behind the trends, always late at least about 2 years. When everyone had a cassette player, I had nothing, when I got a cassette player, everyone had a CD player, when I got a CD player, everyone had mp3's, and so on and so on... (consider I'm still stuck on an mp3, because I hate other music playing devices and I don't listen to music on my phone)

So in general, even though I had touch with games from an early age, I was far behind my generation.

2000. - 2001.

Somewhere along, in between playing with kids and tapping the joypads, I finally got to see the famous Play Station in our possession. We bought and borrowed, like, a million games and even mum got hooked on it. Soon a cold war started in the loft, between three people around two joypads. But in between fighting, there was fun. Soon enough, my love for Resident Evil was born. At the beginning I was afraid to play the game, so I just gave the controller to papa and hid behind his back and watched him play all the time. But, how time passed, I got used to the silly little moaning corpses and finished all three parts of the game. My favourite part was 'Nemesis', of course, because I could choose different outfits for Jill, duuuh! Oh, oh, and the movie - like intro gave me chills - all the time! 

I always liked this one best - don't ask me why, even I don't know now.

Now, I'm not really sure about the next one I'm about to write, but I think not many people around me have played it. So, let's give it a shot. Here's a hint:

Pew, pew, pew!

Yep, that's right. Armored Core! 

Like, the best game EVER my eyes have seen.

I even stayed out of school for some days so I could play it all day long. When winter came, I couldn't wait to get sick so I could stay at home and play. It was like, a virtual Barbie maker, juts not with Barbies, but the coolest robots, or better yet mobile suits. Missions, action, pew pew pew, flying, and all other cool stuff. I would play it right now all over again if you ask me. Screw the high quality graphics and other new stuff. This is the thing!

So, right after this, I'll present to you a few more games worth mentioning for this part of my life:

Ooogabooga!

Right in the childhood! /nostalgic

"Over here, come over here!"

And last, but not least, my passion, my since forever girl crush, comes the lovely lady Lara Croft. Actually, from the beginning, my mum got hooked on that game first, and later I showed interest in it, and found out how exciting it can be. Since I didn't play on the console often after 2004. I only got to finish the first three parts, Last Revelation and Chronicles, and then, again, lost interest in it... Until Legend came. But I'll leave that for later. 

2002. - 2004.

This was the golden era in which I was presented with the ... Computer. That strange machine I used to use only at my friends at the beginning. The first ever game I got to play on it was none other then... Sven Bomwollen. Yeah. An eight year old playing a game in which the objective is to fuck as many sheep possible. Who would've guessed...

"I'll fuck you so hard your wool will fall off and make itself into a sweater."

After my Play Station broke down, the only touch I had with computer games was through my friend's computers. I got hooked on all those Barbie dress up and make up crap, and that's about it for what I had played before I got one computer of my own from parents. But, before all that, my parents managed to find a video club in which we could rent games and a Play Station, and there was one game in particular that left a remarkable trace in my memory, and another bug in my brain that makes me question my own sexuality. 

That's right. This woman is like - woah. Throwing her frisbee thingie and killing Cyclops and shit. I loved that game. It's remarkable.

So, that was 'bout it for Play Station games. I can't remember playing any more after I got my first computer. Now, we're moving on to the Pentium era! 

2005. - 2009.

Minesweeper, Solitaire, Pinball... They all held me quite well for some time. But, then it happened. The video club owner started downloading games for PC from the internet, and, I discovered the awesomeness of the coolest mini-game developer ever... Pop Cap games...

Alchemy, Atomica, Bejeweled, Bookworm, Dynomite!, Feeding Frenzy, Mummy Maze, Noah's Ark, Rocket Mania, and many other... You've all heard about at least one of them... There were just so many, I had to play them all, I just had to! But the two most favourite of them all were Insaniquarium, and of course... Zuma. 

One of the other things I noticed about Zuma in particular is that the majority of MOTHERS play it. Almost every mum from my friends I know have played it, even mine. We always competed who would have the best stage time. That's why I sometimes call it the mother's game. Surely you have noticed that too. 

And right after this I have to mention the oh so popular Yeti Sports! The games are ingenious! Penguin shots were my favourite, and I absolutely found the sound effect hilarious.

I can already hear the quacking in my head, and I can't stop giggling. /slapped

Speaking of funny sound effects, I almost forgot about Chicken Invaders. Unfortunately, I have to say I never played fair, but always cheated in that game. But, but, killing all these chicken and hearing those sounds... Gosh it's almost like you're overeating just because you're enjoying the taste of food a bit to much. It's catchy, contagious, you just can't stop 'till they're all gone. The classic red ammo was my favourite, but only when maxed out!

Later on, around when I was fifth grade, I got a present from a friend. A simulation game. That's right... It's The Sims. Although I enjoyed playing it for some time, next year all the other cool kids played The Sims 2, and whispered 'motherlode, motherlode' among each other during lunch brakes. It was kind of frustrating. I might even say I never got to play the Sims 2 enough, having only two or three extensions, and always a crappy computer, even now. (Yeah, imagine how crappy it is when I can't even play the basic Sims 2 on it)

After all that, I have a blur in my memory. I can't consider mentioning any more games because I can't remember. It's like I have a gap in my memory right after the stupid Sims 2. Maybe I haven't played any since then. Meh, moving on. 

High School - Internet era

Well, pretty much, after we got our first internet connection which was in 2007. I spent my time browsing the web. It was taking out so much time out of my hands, because of my alter ego growing inside all the web sites and social networks. I learned how to effin HTML bitches, embed pictures and videos and make profiles, choose themes, put shit in it and design it. I still find that crap so much fun. Don't ask. I have no idea why. Even now, on some sites I like to change appearances of my profile from time to time, just for fun. 

I found online flash games that I could actually play without bugging on my computer, and it was just about enough for me. Buuut then I got my first gamer boyfriend... And he played World of Warcraft. Constantly. He even tried to get me hooked on it, but I constantly rejected him, because I had already lost interest in games. I had no desire to play anything whatsoever, it was simple as that. And I thank my ignorance for it.

The only bigger games I spent my time on after that were Tomb Raider: Legend and Anniversary.

Now

I basically stayed the same after that untill this very day. The only new passion I created from being around gamer boyfriends constantly is passion for fighting games, such as Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Blaz Blue, Guilty Gear, Soul Calibur and Tekken. And I'm not even bragging. I suck at every single one of them. And I only played the newer versions, the old ones are a mystery for me...

My forever crush.

In conclusion, I realized how much of a big part in growing up games have held in my life. Maybe I made a few mistakes in judging people up until now, so I will apologize for it. Although these things were pretty much important in my development and growing up, I still can't say I was ever a 'gamer'. Until now, it's all been fun and laughs, and I appreciate the fact that some people agree with me. I just want to try and open more eyes besides mine and point out that although games are important, they're just games. Virtual reality can't compare to this one, because it's far more perfect. I understand why people run to it now, considering the fact that the world ain't such a nice place anymore. But there are joys and achievements in life worth fighting and finishing quests for. I'm just sayin'.

Have a great Thursday y'all. <3 Hope you liked my time machine!

Into the jaws of life and out barely alive!

UNGRACEFUL BASTARD!

Why... Yes... Yes I am.

What have I done this far?

Well, let's see...

Excuse meee!

1. Finished almost all exams in college. 

(That's something... Well, not quite. Knowing to say "Hello", "Good bye", and "I'm hungry." in Japanese after almost a year in college ain't something to be god damn proud of.)

2. Met new people. With similar interests. And equally insane as me. Yay!

3. Had a year anniversary with my boyfriend. Yay!

4. Had no interaction with any kind of games whatsoever... Yay?

    (Just kidding, I played Guild Wars 2 at my boyfriend's place. Wait, what?)

5. Hadn't written a single word on this blog... What? I was busy doing ... Uh ... Laundry. *terrible liar*

    Oh, studying, you ask?

6. Dyed my hair, trice. (And that is ABSOLUTELY RELEVANT WITH ME BEING THE GINGER REINCARNATION OF EVERY OTHER MAN'S DREAM... But not quite, having the looks, manners, and personality of an early born piglet.)

How I think I look.

How I really look.

Okay, that's enough expressing of my personal issues for today.

7. Tried working part-time jobs... Tried... Still looking for a real deal. 

    But, y'know... This is the drill. ALWAYS: 

Take a look at...

THE ENDLESS LOOP OF UNEMPLOYMENT, BITCHES!

...Which brings me to the next topic.

Fucking. Jobs.

Now, I don't know about you, but here in my country everything is really mixed up. First of all, there's this annoying loop of employers asking for experience from inexperienced people, who are looking for a job to GET THAT EFFING EXPERIENCE. 

It's like their whole world is going to crash and fall if they take some time to educate the carriers of YOUTH AND FUTURE about employment, responsibility and dedication. No. Not to mention that they're so freakin' scared of employing too many people with the possible risk of losing money to the same people. Here we come to the possible extortion and exploitation of poor employees that work overtime for the same pitiful amount of money they would've gotten for less effort and time.

I hate that. I immensely and utterly hate that. And I've come across some of those people, including employers, and employees. After all that ruckus and drama, I came to a conclusion that I won't, even after I get the proper education at school, get a job easily, unless my dad is rich, or I have an extremely durable vagina.

And now I understand people more! All the annoying call-operators who want to sell you shit, the hobo-ish guys and girls in skyscraper heels who give out pamphlets, the depressed people on cash registers... Every single one of them. Because they work, not because they like, or want it, but because they need the god damn money for raising babies they got when they were seventeen or to pay college fees or taxes and other crap. Being in a situation when you're not sure what you're gonna eat tomorrow takes you to the next level that you don't care where or what you work, just do it.

It depresses me, simply because I know I am one in a billion that is aware of this situation. 

Now, for a brighter topic. I'll see to it that I become more active again and shove less depressing crap in your face in order to brighten up your day. At least, I hope I did at least once by now. This was a fail. All in all, this is the worst summer ever. If things don't start going well, by the end of it I might end up one day waking up like this: 

And staying that way.

Stay strong and keep up with the scumbag life, kay?