The child hidden inside.

Hello!

I was just passing by...

Nah, kidding.
I'm here to share something very special with you today. <3

Now I know I made myself very clear about my opinions on games, gamers and similar, and I underlined my rejection of the title 'gamer' as something to be proud of. I also tried to be as more objective as possible in situations where human relationships are involved and at stake, so taking sides was inevitable, although I must admit that in my opinion I was fair, not giving a break to any side of the storytellers, and criticizing not only the gamer population, but also the girly part. You may hate me for it, but hell, I ain't your mom to criticize you for your messy room, hair or bad grades, I'm just a young woman sharing her opinion about a lot of things, including games and relationships, to the society. You don't like it? Cry me a river. 

Of course, I have to mention the detail that I have told a long time ago in my first post ever: I'm writing about girls who aren't gamers, and gamers who aren't girls. It's just one of my basic experiences I could share and give advice on. And maybe, just maybe, put a smile here and there on someone's face. That makes me feel good. :)

Anyways, I planned this looong post for quite some time. After all the bitching and complaining about games and scumbag boyfriends, I took some time and thought about games thoroughly. I asked myself: How many games were starring in my life? Was I ever acting like the persons I obviously dislike so much at the moment? Could I really call myself a 'gamer' for a certain period of time in my life spent on games? How many games have I played in my life and what impression and influence have they left on me? So I'll present to you a special time machine, so we could go back waaay long time ago and see what can we find, starting from my childhood, up until now. 

1999. 

So, here I was, six years old, pulling buggers out of my nose, digging for worms in the backyard, playing with the kids from the hood all day long... A peaceful, joyful life. Childhood. The sun is setting and all of the kids run home for supper. I pick my dolls and barbies up, and run along up to the loft I used to live in once, and in which I had a... Sega Mega Drive... And not only that, I also had a Super Nintendo. 

Two. Friggin. Consoles. For games. When I was. Fucking. Six. 

Exactly how I remember them. Jesus, I can even smell the plastic right now. /nostalgic

Well, I can't say I remember all of it, but I can clearly and without a doubt say that these two consoles were my dad's and mine favourite toys, ever! We played Mario, Donkey Kong, Sonic and Megaman, and a lot more games, but I just can't remember them all. Actually, a big part in my love for games, played my dad (no pun intended!). We would stay up late, play, laugh quietly so we don't wake up mum and just enjoy! 

Anyways, considering the fact that those consoles were out for sale 4 years before I was born, or better yet, 10 years before I got to use them, that's pretty much lame, right? I mean, the cool kids would've had a Play Station, and they would've gotten already bored by it. And that's - my dear readers - where the gap began! Ever since I was born, I have been technologically behind the trends, always late at least about 2 years. When everyone had a cassette player, I had nothing, when I got a cassette player, everyone had a CD player, when I got a CD player, everyone had mp3's, and so on and so on... (consider I'm still stuck on an mp3, because I hate other music playing devices and I don't listen to music on my phone)

So in general, even though I had touch with games from an early age, I was far behind my generation.

2000. - 2001.

Somewhere along, in between playing with kids and tapping the joypads, I finally got to see the famous Play Station in our possession. We bought and borrowed, like, a million games and even mum got hooked on it. Soon a cold war started in the loft, between three people around two joypads. But in between fighting, there was fun. Soon enough, my love for Resident Evil was born. At the beginning I was afraid to play the game, so I just gave the controller to papa and hid behind his back and watched him play all the time. But, how time passed, I got used to the silly little moaning corpses and finished all three parts of the game. My favourite part was 'Nemesis', of course, because I could choose different outfits for Jill, duuuh! Oh, oh, and the movie - like intro gave me chills - all the time! 

I always liked this one best - don't ask me why, even I don't know now.

Now, I'm not really sure about the next one I'm about to write, but I think not many people around me have played it. So, let's give it a shot. Here's a hint:

Pew, pew, pew!

Yep, that's right. Armored Core! 

Like, the best game EVER my eyes have seen.

I even stayed out of school for some days so I could play it all day long. When winter came, I couldn't wait to get sick so I could stay at home and play. It was like, a virtual Barbie maker, juts not with Barbies, but the coolest robots, or better yet mobile suits. Missions, action, pew pew pew, flying, and all other cool stuff. I would play it right now all over again if you ask me. Screw the high quality graphics and other new stuff. This is the thing!

So, right after this, I'll present to you a few more games worth mentioning for this part of my life:

Ooogabooga!

Right in the childhood! /nostalgic

"Over here, come over here!"

And last, but not least, my passion, my since forever girl crush, comes the lovely lady Lara Croft. Actually, from the beginning, my mum got hooked on that game first, and later I showed interest in it, and found out how exciting it can be. Since I didn't play on the console often after 2004. I only got to finish the first three parts, Last Revelation and Chronicles, and then, again, lost interest in it... Until Legend came. But I'll leave that for later. 

2002. - 2004.

This was the golden era in which I was presented with the ... Computer. That strange machine I used to use only at my friends at the beginning. The first ever game I got to play on it was none other then... Sven Bomwollen. Yeah. An eight year old playing a game in which the objective is to fuck as many sheep possible. Who would've guessed...

"I'll fuck you so hard your wool will fall off and make itself into a sweater."

After my Play Station broke down, the only touch I had with computer games was through my friend's computers. I got hooked on all those Barbie dress up and make up crap, and that's about it for what I had played before I got one computer of my own from parents. But, before all that, my parents managed to find a video club in which we could rent games and a Play Station, and there was one game in particular that left a remarkable trace in my memory, and another bug in my brain that makes me question my own sexuality. 

That's right. This woman is like - woah. Throwing her frisbee thingie and killing Cyclops and shit. I loved that game. It's remarkable.

So, that was 'bout it for Play Station games. I can't remember playing any more after I got my first computer. Now, we're moving on to the Pentium era! 

2005. - 2009.

Minesweeper, Solitaire, Pinball... They all held me quite well for some time. But, then it happened. The video club owner started downloading games for PC from the internet, and, I discovered the awesomeness of the coolest mini-game developer ever... Pop Cap games...

Alchemy, Atomica, Bejeweled, Bookworm, Dynomite!, Feeding Frenzy, Mummy Maze, Noah's Ark, Rocket Mania, and many other... You've all heard about at least one of them... There were just so many, I had to play them all, I just had to! But the two most favourite of them all were Insaniquarium, and of course... Zuma. 

One of the other things I noticed about Zuma in particular is that the majority of MOTHERS play it. Almost every mum from my friends I know have played it, even mine. We always competed who would have the best stage time. That's why I sometimes call it the mother's game. Surely you have noticed that too. 

And right after this I have to mention the oh so popular Yeti Sports! The games are ingenious! Penguin shots were my favourite, and I absolutely found the sound effect hilarious.

I can already hear the quacking in my head, and I can't stop giggling. /slapped

Speaking of funny sound effects, I almost forgot about Chicken Invaders. Unfortunately, I have to say I never played fair, but always cheated in that game. But, but, killing all these chicken and hearing those sounds... Gosh it's almost like you're overeating just because you're enjoying the taste of food a bit to much. It's catchy, contagious, you just can't stop 'till they're all gone. The classic red ammo was my favourite, but only when maxed out!

Later on, around when I was fifth grade, I got a present from a friend. A simulation game. That's right... It's The Sims. Although I enjoyed playing it for some time, next year all the other cool kids played The Sims 2, and whispered 'motherlode, motherlode' among each other during lunch brakes. It was kind of frustrating. I might even say I never got to play the Sims 2 enough, having only two or three extensions, and always a crappy computer, even now. (Yeah, imagine how crappy it is when I can't even play the basic Sims 2 on it)

After all that, I have a blur in my memory. I can't consider mentioning any more games because I can't remember. It's like I have a gap in my memory right after the stupid Sims 2. Maybe I haven't played any since then. Meh, moving on. 

High School - Internet era

Well, pretty much, after we got our first internet connection which was in 2007. I spent my time browsing the web. It was taking out so much time out of my hands, because of my alter ego growing inside all the web sites and social networks. I learned how to effin HTML bitches, embed pictures and videos and make profiles, choose themes, put shit in it and design it. I still find that crap so much fun. Don't ask. I have no idea why. Even now, on some sites I like to change appearances of my profile from time to time, just for fun. 

I found online flash games that I could actually play without bugging on my computer, and it was just about enough for me. Buuut then I got my first gamer boyfriend... And he played World of Warcraft. Constantly. He even tried to get me hooked on it, but I constantly rejected him, because I had already lost interest in games. I had no desire to play anything whatsoever, it was simple as that. And I thank my ignorance for it.

The only bigger games I spent my time on after that were Tomb Raider: Legend and Anniversary.

Now

I basically stayed the same after that untill this very day. The only new passion I created from being around gamer boyfriends constantly is passion for fighting games, such as Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Blaz Blue, Guilty Gear, Soul Calibur and Tekken. And I'm not even bragging. I suck at every single one of them. And I only played the newer versions, the old ones are a mystery for me...

My forever crush.

In conclusion, I realized how much of a big part in growing up games have held in my life. Maybe I made a few mistakes in judging people up until now, so I will apologize for it. Although these things were pretty much important in my development and growing up, I still can't say I was ever a 'gamer'. Until now, it's all been fun and laughs, and I appreciate the fact that some people agree with me. I just want to try and open more eyes besides mine and point out that although games are important, they're just games. Virtual reality can't compare to this one, because it's far more perfect. I understand why people run to it now, considering the fact that the world ain't such a nice place anymore. But there are joys and achievements in life worth fighting and finishing quests for. I'm just sayin'.

Have a great Thursday y'all. <3 Hope you liked my time machine!

Into the jaws of life and out barely alive!

UNGRACEFUL BASTARD!

Why... Yes... Yes I am.

What have I done this far?

Well, let's see...

Excuse meee!

1. Finished almost all exams in college. 

(That's something... Well, not quite. Knowing to say "Hello", "Good bye", and "I'm hungry." in Japanese after almost a year in college ain't something to be god damn proud of.)

2. Met new people. With similar interests. And equally insane as me. Yay!

3. Had a year anniversary with my boyfriend. Yay!

4. Had no interaction with any kind of games whatsoever... Yay?

    (Just kidding, I played Guild Wars 2 at my boyfriend's place. Wait, what?)

5. Hadn't written a single word on this blog... What? I was busy doing ... Uh ... Laundry. *terrible liar*

    Oh, studying, you ask?

6. Dyed my hair, trice. (And that is ABSOLUTELY RELEVANT WITH ME BEING THE GINGER REINCARNATION OF EVERY OTHER MAN'S DREAM... But not quite, having the looks, manners, and personality of an early born piglet.)

How I think I look.

How I really look.

Okay, that's enough expressing of my personal issues for today.

7. Tried working part-time jobs... Tried... Still looking for a real deal. 

    But, y'know... This is the drill. ALWAYS: 

Take a look at...

THE ENDLESS LOOP OF UNEMPLOYMENT, BITCHES!

...Which brings me to the next topic.

Fucking. Jobs.

Now, I don't know about you, but here in my country everything is really mixed up. First of all, there's this annoying loop of employers asking for experience from inexperienced people, who are looking for a job to GET THAT EFFING EXPERIENCE. 

It's like their whole world is going to crash and fall if they take some time to educate the carriers of YOUTH AND FUTURE about employment, responsibility and dedication. No. Not to mention that they're so freakin' scared of employing too many people with the possible risk of losing money to the same people. Here we come to the possible extortion and exploitation of poor employees that work overtime for the same pitiful amount of money they would've gotten for less effort and time.

I hate that. I immensely and utterly hate that. And I've come across some of those people, including employers, and employees. After all that ruckus and drama, I came to a conclusion that I won't, even after I get the proper education at school, get a job easily, unless my dad is rich, or I have an extremely durable vagina.

And now I understand people more! All the annoying call-operators who want to sell you shit, the hobo-ish guys and girls in skyscraper heels who give out pamphlets, the depressed people on cash registers... Every single one of them. Because they work, not because they like, or want it, but because they need the god damn money for raising babies they got when they were seventeen or to pay college fees or taxes and other crap. Being in a situation when you're not sure what you're gonna eat tomorrow takes you to the next level that you don't care where or what you work, just do it.

It depresses me, simply because I know I am one in a billion that is aware of this situation. 

Now, for a brighter topic. I'll see to it that I become more active again and shove less depressing crap in your face in order to brighten up your day. At least, I hope I did at least once by now. This was a fail. All in all, this is the worst summer ever. If things don't start going well, by the end of it I might end up one day waking up like this: 

And staying that way.

Stay strong and keep up with the scumbag life, kay?