Lazybottoms.

People.

My mind was blank.

Until now.

Didn't think I'd post anything today because I'm feeling a bit sick.

But I thought, now that I'm almost finished, I'd take the time and do it.

I'm so fabulous. 

So, again, we continue our journey through the game world.

This time, I'm left with the kind of games that are really not similar to any other I was writing about earlier. 

You'll see soon enough.

Before that, here's the first post, and the previous post.

So you know your stuff.

...

Numbah:

#6

Racing games;

Face it, girls, all men like cars.

And driving.

Fast.

But it's nothing surprisingly new.
I mean, a dream of every other male human is to have a cool sports car and pick up chicks with it.

And of course, race against other douchebags.

Admit it pal, you liiike. (man that chick is ugly)

It's the adrenaline, the need for speed and winning.
And there's nothing wrong with that. 

Even I like those kind of games.
(Actually I played only NFSMW. So awesome. Didn't finish it though. Boss to difficult to handle.)
What I always like to say is, better wreck a car ingame than in real life.
Hehe.

So, the bad thing about this is... Well...
One day you'll be walking with your man hand in hand, all in love and stuff.
And suddenly, he turns around and stares somewhere in the back.
First you'll think: 'Oh God, he's looking at another girl right now.'
But he'll say:
'Shit, that new Honda Civic is the thing!

It has 5-Speed Automatic Transmission, 44.8 MPG, 148 CO2...'

And the rest you hear is: 'Blablabla blabla bla blablabla bla bla.'

Well, you can ignore it, but why not intrigue? 

I mean, it's always good to know a thing or two about cars.

What if your car breaks down in the middle of the high-way? 

You fu*kin' fix it.

Just like that.

'Cause you're a cool girlfriend. 

That's right.

You see, I always try and find a compromise between the two.

Gamer and non-gamer. 

You all learn from each other.

And I think that's the most important lesson of the day.

Remembeeer. 

Learn from everything.

Don't be ignorant. 

U-huh.

I'm not joking. 

Now, I know what you're thinking.

What can I learn from that piece of sh*t motherf*cker who is just playing games all day and night?!

Believe me. 

If you really have the will, you'll understand what I'm talking about.

As in my country say when something weird occures: 'You never know why it's good.' 

So think like that, okay?

Thank you for your cooperation.

Now...

At last, I came to my last kind of game there is. 

That, my dear readers, I despise. 

You know why?

You'll see soon enough.

Moving on to the last, but not least:

#7

Sports games;

There are so freakin' many sports games.
For every sport.
Or anything similar to it.
Soccer, Football, Basketball, Tennis.
I just don't get it.
Some guys sit around all day and play PES.
(Pro Evolution Soccer - learn yer abbreviations bitches)

It's just not normal to me.
I mean, all of that, and I mean it, can be done outside.
With more people.
And fresh air.
And more fun.

But nooo.
We're too lazy to go outside.

Why? 'Cause you're a freakin' couch potato.

Now, all girls will agree with me on this one.

This, is cool.

This.

Not cool. 

Na-ah.

Me no likey. 

Nobody messes with my Sex & The City!

There. 

Now I'm happy.

In your face, bastards.

Now, let me show you why I'm hating these kind of games so much:

First of all, most games we can all play can't be made into a real-life game.

For example, in RPGs and MMORPGs, you can be someone else. 

You can have magical powers, be another race or anything else.

Fighting games - too dangerous. 

I mean, you can still train martial arts, and I would sincerely like you more if you did, but it's still not Mortal Kombat, right?

Shooting games - too dangerous.

I mean, I can understand one way or another if we look it from this point of view, but it's just a matter of personal taste. I'm really not into wars or any kind of conflict that trigger taking other people's lives.

Visual novels - Well, I explained earlier.

You don't have cute anime girls in real life.

Except for these.

But that shit just looks creepy.

And we also have Racing games that are also, too effin dangerous, and not to mention expensive.

I mean really, who in the hell could ever get a car like this unless he's filthy rich?

Oh, I almost forgot to mention it's illegal. 

So yeah, I understand.

And you?

Got the point?


Go.
Outside.
And.
Play.
Ball.

That is all.

Now that I've summed up all kind of games that gamers play, I can rest in peace for a while.
I just hope that I could help. Or at least make you smile.
'Cause I'm having fun right here.

See ya soon and good luck.

Muffins, anyone?

Oh, hi. 

Mind if I come in?

Just thought I'd say a word or two and leave. 

If you're here for the first time, here, I baked you a magic muffin!

"It'll take you somewhere nice!"

Hehe.

Aaanyways, I wish you all a good day/evening/morning/whenever it is that you are reading.

For those of you who still read this, good job. 

For those who just started, good luck.

In any case, I'll continue to brag about how much I don't know about games. 

We finished #3 so this means we're moving on!

Well, next on the menu is: 

#4:

RPG; Role Playing Games

Well I don't like to admit this, but I actually did not notice any difference between this and MMORPG.

Until not so long ago.

This is like, the loner in the crowd.

If everyone's playing MMORPG, a loner would play just a Role Playing Game. 

It's a single player game, or sometimes maybe a co-op. 

But nothing massive.

Won't make you rage quit, be nervous, swear or hit the wall with your fist.

Especially no yo mama jokes!

And that's the beauty of it!

Many role playing games originated from pen and paper role playing.

Something like Dungeons & Dragons.

If you don't know what's that, well, girl, you better know it now.

In fact, here's a little more help.

I actually haven't heard of role-playing until I took a random book from the library a few years back.

And it was this one. 

When I read it, I kinda got the hang of it, so there you go.

Thank me later.

"A wild Maya appears!"

Well, I hate to repeat myself, but this kind of game isn't really bad either. 

Unless your boyfriend doesn't like to leave things unfinished.

By starting a game with 500+ hours of playtime. 

I'm just sayin'.

And this just keeps gettin' better and better!

Actually, it doesn't, I'm just gonna write about the kind of game that I'm familiar with.

It's...

#5:

Visual Novels;

Well, yeah, that's right.

Although it has a 'novel', it's actually an interactive fiction game. 

It's mostly made in anime-style graphics, with an interesting plot and a looot hours of play time. 

I like it.

But man, it's hard to finish. 

I'm not that patient. 

Not to mention I have to fu*king save every three seconds.

And sometimes, I make a decision, and then save.

Or worse, forget to save.

And when I come to a dead end, I have to go back.

So. Fu*king. Frustrating.

Anyway, while researching why do guys like visual novels so much, it didn't took me long to get it into my head. 

Besides the excellent plot, amazing voice acting, music, and graphics, we also have like, a gazillion choices and many different endings. 

...

But that's not it. 

The thing is...

Well, I just have to show you.

Okay, ready?

...

 

  See this?  

Same girl.

U-huh. 

And sometimes they get naked.

U-huh.

And that's when I realised...

The truth! Behind visual novels.

Heehee.

Now, serious mode: ON.

Anyway, not all visual novels are like this, but they're mostly played by men because most of them are made to be played looking from a male perspective. 

I personally liked them, but I saw no other girl besides me. 

Maybe there are some, who knows. 

The only bad thing these kind of games can do is to turn a guy from this:

... Into this:

And then, of course, you leave him because he's too much of an otaku:

Nah, just kidding.

There's nothing bad in fantacising.

We all do sometimes.

Oh fuck, Bruce, you chose the wrong time to rape my mind, okay?!

...

I'll start a new game genre, yes, it'll take my mind off things. 

And Bruce.

God he's hot.

Ahem. 

Moving on. 

...

Fuck this, I'm off to watch Sin City. 

Hope you enjoyed. 

Lalalalalalalaaa~

Friends Don't Let Friends Llama

...Aaanyways.

Now, that I'm clean, fresh out of the shower with a towel on my head and a piece of toast in my mouth, I can continue with spreading the love! 

♥

Just before I begin, (again), I want to thank you all for taking the time to read this crap.

Yeah.

It's crap.

It doesn't help much.

But it makes me happy.

So.

Thanks. 

Here, have a smile.

Ah, yes now. 

The gamers.

Well, we still haven't moved from #1.

That was the link to the previous post.

If you haven't read it, I highly recommend you do.

Go on.

Click eeeeeet.

Well, I covered it up more or less earlier, but here's the deal:

MMORPG-s (learn yer abbreviations, bitches), are really popular.

They are mostly Fantasy, Sci-fi, or Historically oriented.

But there are even more genres, so I'll stop here.

So, in conclusion, they can be adjusted to different tastes, which means there will be more players.

And, let's face it, a gamer doesn't have to have a particular music/clothing taste, orientation, nationality or religious views, or anything else for that matter to be a gamer.

I just can't say that a game can define what a player is.

The game chose them. 

That is all. 

But, moving on to #2: 

FPS; Or just shooting games.

(FPS comes from First Person Shooting)

My God, I'm so proud. 

It turns out I know so much it almost makes me a gamer. 

... LOLNOPE.

Well, personally, I find this kind of games the most annoying.

This is the one that Counter Strike, Medal of Honor, Call of Duty, and all other games come from.

I just don't get it.

World War II simulations?

Terrorism?

Really bitch? 

Really?

I always say, let's see you do that on the field with real guns and real people.

I'm just sayin'. 

I think those things are bad, man.

But you know, it really depends on the kind of guy.

'De gustibus non disputandum est.'

I'm not completely met with this genre in theory, but I can at least guess that this is not a kind of game that'll make you stay in your room for 2 days straight. 

What I am sure, is that these games are something that can easily regulate your blood pressure from low to normal.

(right after MMORPG-s)  

Or give you a heart attack from the emotions it causes.

The negative ones.

I noticed that many guys, while playing Counter Strike, for example, have the need to yell all the time.

- 'Hey dude, that's my hiding spot, go somewhere else!'

- 'You stole my kill you piece of sh*t!'

- 'Fu*k, I'm out of ammo!'

And so on...

Not to mention yo mama jokes. 

Hehe.

Well, overall, I want to point out that these kind of gamers aren't really a potential disaster for girls, because they really can't spend too much time playing it, neither expect from a girl to play it, because it's a 'man's game'.

Well, you got me.

I don't like shooting games.

Well, actually I do, but in third person.

There.

A random little fact about me.

Now scram.

...I think I could spare some room for another one. 

Thank me later. 

Let's see... We have role-playing games, shooting games... 

What else do guys like to play?

...

...

God, I can't think with this angry ass dragon in my way!

...

...Waaait a second.

Is that the little dragon from Mulan?

... No?

... Nope, I didn't think so too.

...

Oh, oh, I know! ... Wait fooor iiit...

...

Fighting games! Heh. Thaaat's right. 

So, shall we begin? 

...

#3: 

Fighting games;

Well, first of all, I like these kind of games because it can include more than one person in the room.

...And no, not like this.

They use one console.

...That's better. 

I'm not focused on the actual type of game now that we're talking about, but I'm pointing out that this kind of game is good when played with more than one person. 

It's fun, enjoyable, and most of those games played by multiple persons are fighting games.

I mean, how else could you and your boyfriend possibly decide on who's eating the last piece of the cake?

Hoho.

Well, in my case, fighting games came to my liking after I got involved with a gamer.

And it really is fun. 

Not to mention hilarious seeing a girl struggle to get out of a combo.

I mean, the first time I took a controller and desperately tried to win a match, my boyfriend was like:

...I guess I was holding the joypad the wrong way.

And I kept pressing the wrong buttons.

But it was hilarious, nonetheless.

But, alas, here is the dark side: It can all be played online.

Against other competitors.

From other countries.

And guess what? 

You have to be the best! 

What do we have here?

Hm, let's see:

1. Rage quitting.

2. Going into all rage mode because someone rage quitted on you.

Well, I guess that's about it. 

Oh, well that's not so bad. 

I mean, I can relate. 

I always get my ass kicked.

But I take it like a woman!

(I guess that so far nothing's worse than MMORPG-s huh)

Haha.

You may hit me with a brick now.

Well, see ya later. 

Hope you liked it.

♥ 

Giggity!

Well, I think I have time to spare for this so, 

/subconsciousness reappearing 

...No I don't.

Yes, I do!

No I don't!

Yes. I. Do.

/slapped
Haha.

Uhhh, where was I?

Anyways, this time it’s all about games.
I would prefer if you came around for the first time that you read the previous post.
That is if you're not that lazy.
Or you got bored by reading this right about... Now.

Onto the topic.

As well as you all know, there are a lot of guys that play games most of the time.

But, not all of them are the same, you see.

I made a few categories of boyfriends based on what kind of game they’re playing, so that you know your stuff. 

Thank me later. 

...

Buuuuuut...

Before I begin, I need to make some things clear about my last post and solutions in how to deal with a  gamer. Just merely pointing some very important things I haven't mantioned earlier.

First off: 

Nope, you're not gonna make a guy stop playing games if you wreck their consoles, yell at them and/or destroy their original special edition pre-ordered-biggest-fan-only games. 

It's not a solution. 

They worked hard (one way or another) to get all that, and they would never give it away because someone just told them so. 

Not to mention forgive the wrecking.

Anyway, from my point of view, a girl who would do that would look like nothing more than a simple violent bitch. 

I'm just sayin'.

And second: 

If you don't like the philosophy of: 'Can't beat them - join them.', then you have to be extremely tollerant in order to preserve the relationship. 

That is, again, if the guy isn't a jerk, and deserves your attention, and your love.

If he is, then move on. 

Believe me.

Just...

Now I'm seroius.
(yeah right like I ever was serious)

You don't want to spend years suffering before you decide to break up.

Especially if you don't want to see that same guy after the break up on the street while driving.

Hihi.

Good times.

Okay, I'm done. 

Now onto the good stuff.

Considering how many various game genres exist, along with sub-genres, sub-sub-genres, and/or whatever, I couldn't just take every one of them and say: 'Yep, if your boyfriend is playin' it, then *insert witty comment here*.', because it's not really possible. 

The variety of games is just enormous, and approachable from any side, and from any person, country or to be exact - console, just in order to get as many players as possible. 

And what's even more improtant, 'gamers' are not guys that only play WoW, or similar. It doesn't matter what game it is, as long as they spend most of the time playing them. 

I also have to mention that I'm not experienced in all kind of games, so in order to make this thing work, I had to do some serious researching. 

I note that I haven't cathegorised men by genres, but only by the most popular kinds of games. 

So, here goes. 

1. MMORPG

First of all, MMORPG is a massively multiplayer online role-playing game.

(this abbrevation took me the longest to learn)

And, as you will notice, it's the most popular thing on the internet (after facebook).

Yep.

The thing that 10 persons die for out of starvation at their desk a year. 

Aaand the one that made so many couples break up I can easily go on the beach and count the grains without regreting I didn't tell you the number.

Well, if not break up, it made them foreveralone. 

But, these kind of guys don't care much about that.

How can you recognise them?

You don't. 

At least, not easily.

In fact, I think I can at least make a bit clearer vision about this.

There are 3 stages the ones are going through.

It doesn't necessarily mean they HAVE to end up on the third stage, but I'm just pointing out that, even in these kind of situations, you have the 'better', or the 'worse' evil. 

First stage is just casual playing, for fun and personal fulfillment. 

Not much time has been taken away from those guys, but they will still be committed to it a lot, in order to show how good they are at it.

Second is, when they get 'hooked' on it. I wouldn't actually use that term, but let it be like this, because I'm in lack of words at the very moment. This kind of gamer is a lot more comittet to playing, and it's not for fun, but for progress. And more progress. And more.

More, more, more.

This is how you come to the final stage. 

I call them - no lifers. 

It's also a pretty harsh term, but forgive my narrow vocabulary. 

In this situation, they will absolutely, and I asure you, dismiss most or all connection to the real world.

Some even come to a point where they're far too busy to go have a shower, or even grab something to eat. 

It's just progress. Progress. 

I have to have more!

Be the best!

And that's where the story ends. 

They just keep progressing, and there's nothing to it. 

They will basically commit their whole life, free time and leave chores behind for that game.

That is, until a new version of the game appears.

Or a new patch.

Or something.

'I have to have it!'

Well, that kind of sums up all kind of gamers. But this kind is kind of special (overusing the word kind, in a wrong way). In other words, the need to become a better person, to achieve higher goals and feel good about themselves is projected in that game.

But enough with the psychology.

What IS important here, is that, you need to catch their attention.

At all cost.

BE THE ACHIEVEMENT.

Just like that. 

There might have been better methods, but I like this one best. 

Cosplay always helps. 

It has to.

But on a side note, I highly consider that the solutions from the past entry cover up all of the gamers.

Doesn't matter what they play.

But, I repeat.

This. Is. Gold. 

No man will stay the same after seeing that sight.

Well, that's all for now. 

I'll finish the rest once I get some sleep. 

And some studying.

Maybe some food too.

And a shower. 

Haha.

/slapped

So, that's how it is, huh.

Let's see...

You're young, beautiful, charming, and nothing can come in your way.

A successful life is what everyone is craving for. 

Although there are things you can do that will fill in the gap of not having a relationship, it's still not enough. 

So, you find yourself a boyfriend. 

Perfect!

It's all lovely-dovely, untill you discover something.

One day, you call him.

...

- 'Hello?'

- 'Oh, hi hun. What're you doing?' 

- 'I'm raiding right now. Can I call you back?'

- 'Um, sure. Later.'

- 'Later.'

... 

...Wait a second. 

I'm out of coffee! I'll be right back.

That's better. 

Now, where was I. Oh, yes, he was raiding.

It's okay, he'll call back. 

Tomorrow. Or maybe the day after tomorrow.

First, you think it's something school-related.

What did he say again? Reading?

No, wait... Raiding? 

... I'll google it. Google is my friend.

When suddenly...

...'To Raid / Raiding - a Group of 10/25/40 players who join forces to complete a dungeon in games like World of Warcraft.'

He was playing a game?!

How in the hell? ... 

... Well, that's right. 

Your dear boyfriend... Is a gamer. 

'But how could I not notice that?

I mean, we were going out, and having fun. 

We have so much in common.

I mean, I'm into japanese animation too. 

But I thought he only watched hentai or something. 

But WoW?'

(Note to self: WoW is an abbreviation for World of Warcraft)

...

By my calculations, there is a much less probability to date a gamer guy than a jerk. 

The bad news is: If you start dating a guy that's both, good luck with preserving it.

The good news is: If that guy isn't proved to be a jerk, there is help!

There are 4 solutions (patented by me and of which isn't proved that any work with 100% accuracy, but it's worth the shot):

First is:

Leave that motherfu**er foreveralone.

Maybe, just maybe, if he realises that you were the right girl for him, he'll take the effort of sparing some more time for you.

But games... Well, you'll still have to deal with them.

Second (and the hardest one) is:

To try and make him stop playing games. 

It's possible, by making him do some other things that might be fun.

If you're involved, and have a lot of similar interests, you can find a lot of things that you can do together, and they won't include any games.

But I warn you, it's a long and a very difficult process, so if you decide so, I wish you the best of luck. 

The main problem about it is, that gamers like challenges, and achievements. 

If you find a way to intriuge him higly in any activity you're planning on (which is difficult enough), you also have to reward him.

After the first step, it only gets easier.

Third (the second hardest):

Become a gamer girl youself.

Now as much as I don't like to admit, a lot of guys are really into gamer girls. 

Prefferably hot gamer girls. 

Let's face it, not everyone can look like this. 

But, as long as you're included in whatever that he is doing, it's a plus.

You're doing things together, and it's somewhat encouraging.

Besides that, the variety of things to talk about and share will increase, along with the bond you already have.

If you're a girl that does not know a thing about games, it's gonna be even better.

I'm saying that because, as long as you are, and stay interested in what he is doing, the guy will feel fullfilled because he will be introducing you to something completely new. 

Unless he's a jerk, and yells at you because you spent all mana on unnececarry special ability.

Or you didn't come in time for the raid/grind/ops. 

Or just screwed something up ingame.

Then you do numero uno. 

Sorry girl, but that's how it is. 

And last, but not least, the final solution:

Stay as you are, and deal with him. 

Just like... Me. 

Sometimes, when solution 3 fails, it's the best to stay out of it.

It can be that you either found the game world uninteresting, or you just can't seem to fit in. 

If you tried, the guy will consider that, so it's a good thing.

Again, unless he's not a jerk.

Somehow, over the time, you'll get used to it, yet still find out new things, even though you're not a gamer. 

In my case, he introduced me to so many games, and I even tried playing them.

It was fun.

But it's just not for me.

And even if I wanted to play, I don't have the requirements to do that. At least not for now.

Even though you're not a gamer, you'll have things to talk about, besides every day ones.

And, well, as it was explained earlier, guys do it not for fun, but for personal fulfillment. 

Unlike girls. 

But, you will experience his rage quitting, all-nighter raids, and playing the PS3, or some other console.

There must be at least two consoles. 

Or at least two games.

WoW & LoL

Dota & HoN

WoW & Dota

LoL & HoN

...

Do the math. 

And at least, learn what every abbrevation means. 

That'll make him proud.
...

That'll make you proud.

<3

And that's about it. 

If you found this interesting, thank you.

If I made a mistake, point it out.

But note that I'm only focused on girls that are not gamers.

And gamers that are not girls. 

Hehe.