Jealous much?

"Honey, why is my phone broken?"

Salute! 

Guess what? I'm baaack. 

With more juicy annoying life tips that no one would ever use. 

ERMAHGERD COMPUTER

Yeeeanyway, enjoying my student life to the fullest. 

By sitting whole day in a chair. 

I wonder how it didn't get glued to my ass from the sitting.

In the meantime I've been collecting some really interesting topics for the blog, and I assure you that you will not be disappointed more than you already had with my previous crap. I also changed the look of my blog, 'cause I find that amusing, don't know why though.

(It's interesting how much I'm hating on my own blog, I should make a blog entry on how much my blog sucks, hahah, heh, oh boy)

Before we get started, a few notes about the new look and a few news:

1. Yes. I do like nice asses.

2. Yes. That is Flandre Scarlet's ass. 

3. No, that wasn't a link to a porn site. 

4. I advise you to turn the volume down if you don't want to get surprised by the playlist.

5. If you don't like the music, just pause it. 

6. Yes, I am obsessed with P&SwG anime and its soundtrack.

And last but not least: 

7. I opened a profile on ask.fm so if anyone has a question, don't be afraid to ask. 

There's a gadget in the sidebar, so you won't have to go directly to the site. 

I still don't own a webcam, so you won't see my fabulous face or hear my amazing voice, but I'll make sure to answer all the questions truthfully, and give best advises I can. 

(Which is a good thing if you ask me)

So...

This post is dedicated to all the boys in the world who have once or many times experienced the phenomena of a ... dun dun dun ... Overly attached girlfriend! 

Shall we begin? 

There you are sitting in your room at the computer, playing mmo games with your pals. 

Minding your own business. 

Fanatically pressing the keyboard and mouse buttons in order to kill as many mother****ers as possible.

When suddenly...

Knock, knock.

- HOLY SH ... 

Oh, hi hun, what'cha doin' ? 

-It's 1AM girl, what the fu*k are you doing at my house?! 

-Just wanted to check up on you. Besides, you forgot your wallet.

She says that with a wide smile on her face and then leaves you. 

-Jesus, she's crazy. 

So you go to bed and fall asleep. 

In the morning, all fresh and new, you stretch and turn to the other side of the bed. 

Ohai. Don't mind me, proceed to putting your clothes back on.

Well, dear boys, I will only have two questions to ask before you'll realize yourself what have you gotten yourself into.

Numero uno: 

Do you constantly have the feeling that you're being watched? 

Yes? Let us proceed.

Do you have a girlfriend? 

Yes? 

Bingo. 

(Although even if you don't have a girlfriend this kind of situation is plausible. Unless you have a mental illness) 

Okay, this so far was nothing but jokes and crap. 

What I really wanted to talk about really are jealous and overly attached girlfriends. 

But in a serious matter.

Well, first of all, let me share a little OAG (let's call them like that,learn yer abbreviations bitchez) theory I've come up with recently. You have all kinds of girls that are just major jealous bitches. Me, for example. But we'll get to that later. 

But before I continue, I have to draw one very clear line between jealous and overly attached.

Not the same thing. 

Believe me.

So, first of all, how do you know that a girl is jealous?

I am only talking about jealous girlfriends, not jealous friends.

Let's put it like this. If she asks a lot of questions (especially about other girls that are involved in your life), and if she always asks for a clearly and utterly justified reason why you did something without her or spent time with someone and not her, she's jealous as a snake. 

Buuut. If a girl is all over you, your facebook wall and inbox, your phone messages, your friends and your house and house members, she's overly attached. She just wants to be everywhere where you are and do everything that you do just so she could be with you. All. The. Time. 

Aaan, with different types, come different levels of these girls! 

Jealous: 

1. Mild

2. Classic

3. Strong

1. Mild. Or - this coffee needs more sugar, fast - girls 

- 'Hey honey, where have you been?' 

            - 'Oh, at my friend's house. Had a beer. Talked about sex, games and cars.'

- 'You sure you've been there?' 

- 'Um, yeah, why?' 

- 'Okay.'  

Piece of cake.

2. Classic. Or - don't worry, I got this - girls

- 'Hey honey, where have you been?' 

- 'Oh, at my friend's house. Had a beer. Talked about sex, games and cars.'

- 'You sure you've been there?' 

- 'Um, yeah, why?' 

- 'You weren't cheating on me or anything, right?' 

- 'Jesus, of course not!' 

- 'Okay, just checking.'

That was close.

3. Strong. Or - the force is strong with this one - girls

- 'Hey honey, where have you been?' 

- 'Oh, at my friend's house. Had a beer. Talked about sex, games and cars.'

- 'You sure you've been there?' 

- 'Um, yeah, why?' 

- 'You weren't cheating on me or anything, right?' 

- 'Jesus, of course not!' 

- 'Really?'

- 'Yes, oh my God, stop it.'

- 'Because I called your friend. He said you weren't there.'

- 'Shit.'

That's a keeper!

Well anyways, the overly attached girlfriends are a bit different. Because there is no level of attachment. They just are. A lot. But there are various situations you might get yourself into. So let's see:

1. On-line overly attached girl.

Simple. She doesn't know you but she would like to know you, possibly get in your pants and marry you. 

Your facebook notifications are overflowing with her likes and comments on everything you post.

2. Real-life overly attached girl.

Even more simple. She's a possibly friendzoned girl from your circles of friends that would also like to get in your pants and possibly marry you afterwards. And besides the social network, she's all over you whenever you hang out.

3. One-night-stand overly attached girl. 

The title says it. Hooked up, didn't even get her number afterwards. One of you didn't realize that it really was a one night stand. Guess who. And if she was a virgin, boy you are in trouble. When you thought you'd never see her again, there she is, all over you, your phone and social networks, to try and get in your pants again, and possibly marry you afterwards. 

4. Just overly attached girlfriend. 

Just that. You know the drill.

So, like I said earlier. Girls. Damn. They're difficult. 

Now yes, I know, this is a bit too drama-ish for real life's taste. 

But it can happen to anyone. 

Shut up Maya, you're so full of it. 

...

So, who's up for chinese? 

---

Next on the menu: Jealous ex? Bitch please.